Crap Jokes

**Mon Jul 07, 2014 11:50 pm**

Shane MacGowan walks out of a bar.

**Sat Sep 06, 2014 9:15 am**

What cheese should you use to hide a horse?

Mask-A-Pony. :roll:

**Sat Sep 06, 2014 10:32 pm**

My wife bet me I couldn't make a car out of Spaghetti. You should have seen her face when I drove pasta.

**Sat Sep 06, 2014 11:19 pm**

Heather wrote:My wife bet me I couldn't make a car out of Spaghetti. You should have seen her face when I drove pasta.

Have you left Jake for another woman? :shock:

Are you sure this is a true story? :wink:

**Mon Sep 08, 2014 7:18 am**

I have got a new job selling Toblerones. The people who work for me sell Toblerones too. I am worried it may be a pyramid scheme.

**Mon Sep 08, 2014 7:28 pm**

soulfinger wrote:I have got a new job selling Toblerones. The people who work for me sell Toblerones too. I am worried it may be a pyramid scheme.

Do you know why they make the boxes that shape?............................So that the chocolate fits inside...... :roll:

**Sat Oct 11, 2014 9:08 pm**

A mate of mine packed up his doughnut stall after 10 years.

'How come?' I asked.

'Got fed up with the hole thing.'

**Thu Oct 16, 2014 6:38 pm**

Actual text I just got from a friend:

Just got out of Dr office from post-vasectomy results. All clear. The music playing in the lobby was "the first cut is the deepest".

**Fri Oct 17, 2014 9:13 pm**

I never wanted to believe that my dad was stealing from his job as a road worker but when I got home all the signs were there.

**Sat Oct 18, 2014 10:58 am**

Heather wrote:I never wanted to believe that my dad was stealing from his job as a road worker but when I got home all the signs were there.

Love this type of joke. Keep them coming.

Mrs McGreer didn't know the definition of double entendre. ............ so I gave it to her! :twisted:

**Sun Oct 19, 2014 9:03 am**

What did one earthquake say to the other?

It's not my fault.

**Tue Feb 24, 2015 10:22 pm**

I have started a new job, working shifts, making chess pieces.

I'm on knights next week.

**Tue Feb 24, 2015 11:18 pm**

What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.

**Wed Feb 25, 2015 6:17 pm**

Heather wrote:A mate of mine packed up his doughnut stall after 10 years.

'How come?' I asked.

'Got fed up with the hole thing.'

Mint

**Thu Feb 26, 2015 7:22 am**

Low D wrote:What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.

What do you call a pig who gets picked up at a disco?

Pulled pork.

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