Minding the Finers: A True Story

[Joe Citizen]

Greetings, All:

I've just discovered these boards and am very much enjoying catching-up on everyone's stories, opinions, and gripes. What a thrill that Spider, James, and Philip post here! I've ranked the Pogues my favorite band since I bought Red Roses For Me used (on a vague anti-recommendation from a friend: "they're terrible, exactly the kind of crap you'd like..."). I saw them in San Francisco on tour for If I Should Fall and then again in San Diego opening for Dylan, without Shane alas. I've seen him with the Popes twice and seen the Pogues twice after the split, too. I'm thrilled to think of seeing them together again but haven't yet caught one of the post-millenial shows. Maybe this fall...

Anyhow, I thought some of you might take some amusement from an experience I had in the winter of 93/94, when I stumbled into volunteering for an anti-AIDS fundraiser at Tower Records in London. In theory, I was studying in London, but I took my time getting to the British Library each day (as you do). On the day in question, I went in to check the sale bins and found the shop given over to a fundraiser for the Terence Somebody Trust (no disdain implied; I'm not often in the UK and genuinely can't remember the name of the worthy organization). When I learned that the Pogues would be playing later in the day I figured I needed to hang around, so I volunteered to help out. The folks in charge gave me a can to rattle, and I rattled it with vigor collecting change from the shoppers. Because of my enthusisam and glamour, I was shortly asked to be a "minder" for the "celebrities" who were attending the event. Actually, I can't imagine why they asked me. I was a questionable-looking American whom they'd known for about 40 minutes, but ask me they did. In fact, I don't know that they needed minders at all. The whole event seemed radically under-publicized, but there you go...

My first assignment was to look after some guy who hosted a popular quiz show (possibly "Blockbusters," but I'm not sure--something about spelling out words from left to right; can't recall his name...) as he walked around the shop begging for money. He was very popular with the peple, but he didn't need much minding. Mostly, he sent me on errands while he met and mingled--e.g. "I want a box-set of Frank Sinatra; bring me three or four options." Nice enough cat, but pretty reserved. He was very snooty when I proffered a bargain Sinatra box.

Next, I got Cathy Tyson, the actress from Mona Lisa and not enough other movies. She was incredibly nice, wanted to know all about me--and was, no joke, the most beautiful woman I have ever seen in person (the wife excepted, of course). She, I guess, was glad to have a "minder" as her presence attracted a lot of catcalls from the male public, some of it unttractive if not actually intimidating.

The next job was the interesting one, though. The guy in the volunteers' headquarters plainly had little idea who the Pogues were, but he said, "One of the band has brought his wife and two young daughters. Please keep an eye on them and make sure nobody bothers them." That was Jem's wife and daughters, who I remember to be wearing matching Southwestern print jackets. They plainly had no use for me, but they were very pleasant and I got to have brief chats with Jem and Darryl. The funniest thing I remember is that the whole band were making fun of Jem for his shirt, which had plainly just come out of the packet, what with its comical crease lines, and made him look, well, not so punk rock. When we all walked around to the gig-room, I dutifully stayed close to the female Finers and, like, kept them from harm. The gig was short, excellent, and rather sparsely attended. Again, I think there was no publicity whatsoever. I'd only found it by accident myself. At no time were the Finers threatened, but believe me I was ready for anything. The people who were there were wildly enthusiastic. I remember one drunk kid throwing an Ireland scarf to Spider onstage, a gesture that would have been more fitting to a larger, more crowded, less fluorescently-lit room. After the set, Spider found the kid and saying, "Here. You'll want this back. We can do that again next time."

Jem thanked me at the end, although he knew as well as I did that my services to him and his family and band were nil, and thus ended my career as a celebrity bodyguard.

[Clash Cadillac]

Hey Joe,

Thanks for sharing the story and welcome to the Fora.

[Michaelo]

I bought Red Roses For Me used (on a vague anti-recommendation from a friend: "they're terrible, exactly the kind of crap you'd like...")

I have friends like that too.

Great story, thanks for sharing it. And you got to meet the beautiful Cathy Tyson too? I remember her well from Mona Lisa. I'm trying to remember the name of that "voodoo" film she was in.

Welcome aboard.

[Eckhard]

Nice story, and well written too. Very entertaining. Welcome aboard!

[Joe Citizen]

Michaelo: T'was "The Serpent and the Rainbow," and t'wasn't so good. She also made a film called "Priest" that I haven't seen. Given her talent and beauty, I was always surprised she didn't do much more. I know the film industry is brutal on women as they age, and her mixed-race status probably excluded her from some parts because of the small-mindedness of casting types and producers. When I spent the hour-or-so with her, also, she was the mother of a young son and seemed pleased to have her "career" on the back-burner for a time. She was really a lovely person, it seemed to me, earnest and strikingly intelligent. Did I mention she was also OK to look at?

Ah, well, I don't mean to hijack my own thread into a digression on the splendor of Cathy Tyson...

[Michaelo]

Michaelo: T'was "The Serpent and the Rainbow," and t'wasn't so good.

Ah yes, that's the one. I don't remember much about it as it was so long ago.
Did you ever see Band Of Gold? Cathy Tyson was in that too- they made about three series in all. I thought the 1st series was quite good.

[firehazard]

Great story, Joe Citizen, and welcome aboard.

Just for completeness, the charity concerned would've been the Terrence Higgins Trust. Excellent organisation.

[fluke]

Great story, and a great job it must have been..