The Medusa Fora

Yeah well I may have seen it differently to you...that's what happens...you write summat, it means this..another guy reads it, it means that..make sense??
Anyway..I liked it..don't feel shame chinaski..let's have more please..<flutters eyelashes>

Irishbookish wrote:Hmm...one has to wonder why you called in then if not to read or contribute???

Ha ha ha ha ha!!

Good story Bookish. Is there more....?

Fionn MacCool wrote:No sorry, I'm far too lethargic to wade through that. But seriously, paragraph the shit out of that!

there are enough paragraphs in there man. Nice by the way IB

Irishbookish wrote:Hmm...one has to wonder why you called in then if not to read or contribute???

I use the RSS feed, and I saw a post pop up with my name. Or I follow you around the forum because I find your posts interesting. You pick.

firehazard wrote:I hate Ikea.
Spend many hours in Topshop
despite being male.

I hate them too but hate Kendals in Manchester most. I insist we go in Waterstones first so I can buy a book. I sometimes finish it before the girls finish the shoe, dress, whatever hunt. Humorous books are good for this as they cause you to be sitting outside the changing rooms cackling like a loon; which is not always popular

Niall wrote:

Fionn MacCool wrote:No sorry, I'm far too lethargic to wade through that. But seriously, paragraph the shit out of that!

there are enough paragraphs in there man. Nice by the way IB

Thanks Niall. I'm not sure how I feel about that kind of writing but I want to incorporate it with something else I'm working on.

Dug this up...the only one that survived the 'night of the drunken burning'....it probably should have burned.
.........Election '83...
Sowing the seed, don't neglect to feed the masses
if they don't tow the company line they'll be out on their arses
that's the way to make them dance to the tune of the big cigar
a year or two on the begging-bowl
should break their bolshie spirit
send them to church every sunday and fill them full to the cap
with biblical bullshit and pap
they'll thank god and the government for their pay-off
they'll dance in the aisles and clap
and when it's time to put your cross
the lunatics are out in number
vote for me, no, vote for me, they all want to be the boss
laughing with you and then at you from dizzy heights of ego
the power fucked the glory
and bore forth a battle-crazed tory
and as your hopes and fears
turn into chokes and jeers
ropes and years
it's the same uneasy story.
barney 1983.

old barney greyheron wrote:'night of the drunken burning'

What's the 'night of the drunken burning'?

jennylois wrote:

old barney greyheron wrote:'night of the drunken burning'

What's the 'night of the drunken burning'?

a night when he burned a lot of his writing while drunk id imagine

izza truefact niall...cried the next day...ah well.

..........THE BALLAD OF BLOATER'S TENT.
Said Bloater to his wife one day 'i crave the great outdoors
but hotels are expensive and caravans for bores
i've thought about it long and hard until my brain's quite bent
and come to the conclusion that what we need's a tent'.

Now, Bloater was a big man who liked things super-size
economy-size everything, Desperate Dan pies
he came home with a monster, it was more like a marquee
like two tents for the price of one, buy one, get one free.

He pitched it in the garden, his koi carp died of fright
the neighbours called the council, said it's blocking out the light
he pitched it in the countryside, sent animals demented
sheep fell in the river and cows ran straight through fences.

He pitched it in a car park, car owners fled in fear
up limped the attendant, saying 'you can't park that thing here'
he pitched it in a playing field, children formed a queue
said Bloater 'what you doing?' they said 'when's the circus due?'

So Bloater hired a field and put it on display
said 'if everyone's so interested, i'll make the buggers pay'
there were stories in the papers and websites on the net
saying everyone must see this, go and visit Bloater's tent.

Well people came from everywhere, from every continent
to gaze in awe and wonder at Bloater's giant tent
the curator tried to buy it for the V&A museum
Prince Charles wants to buried there, it'd be his mausoleum.

One night as Bloat was closing up, a ghostly trumpet played
it was the spirit of Roy Castle risen from the grave
I saw it on the lunchtime news, a banner was unfurled
now Bloater's tent's officially the eighth wonder of the world.

barney.

That's very good, Barney. It's written in a sort of cross between a Ballad and Burlesque style.

Bloater... I like that.

Bloater is my brother-in-law...

Does Bloater know you've written this about him? Maybe you could have called the work, 'Burlesque Bloater.' Anyway, it's good stuff.

Bloater likes me writing about him..i've done five things that were specifically about Bloater..and he's mentioned, along with Slugger..my other brother in law..in a few others...I think i've written six about Slugger...they don't mind.
Bloater IS a great big bloke who buys enormously sized everything..boxes of washing powder big enough to hide behind..and when he tried to pitch his tent in his garden, he couldn't..cos the damn tent was BIGGER than his garden.