R.I.P.s

[The Duke of Ingmar]

The meet-up last night wasn´t as hard as I had feared. Of course there was the occasional tear or two, but basically it seemed that people were trying to behave as "normal" as possible. Guess that´s the best cure.

Obviously our mate was very, very good in hiding his soul from others, even his family and his closest friends. I learned that in his farewell letter, the only thing he said about his motive was "Forgive me, but I can´t stand the pressure anymore". Unfortunately, that leaves a lot to think about.

And I just cannot imagine how hard it must be for his best friend and his niece who were the people who actually found him hanging from the ceiling. All of us others try to make them see some professional help before the biggest shock is over and the whole thing fully hits them as we suppose this hasn´t happened yet.

But I really believe, DzM, the way you handled it was the only way to get over it. FUCK YOU. AND CHEERS. YES !

[philipchevron]

The meet-up last night wasn´t as hard as I had feared. Of course there was the occasional tear or two, but basically it seemed that people were trying to behave as "normal" as possible. Guess that´s the best cure.

Obviously our mate was very, very good in hiding his soul from others, even his family and his closest friends. I learned that in his farewell letter, the only thing he said about his motive was "Forgive me, but I can´t stand the pressure anymore". Unfortunately, that leaves a lot to think about.

And I just cannot imagine how hard it must be for his best friend and his niece who were the people who actually found him hanging from the ceiling. All of us others try to make them see some professional help before the biggest shock is over and the whole thing fully hits them as we suppose this hasn´t happened yet.

But I really believe, DzM, the way you handled it was the only way to get over it. FUCK YOU. AND CHEERS. YES !

Amen. The problem with "professional help" is that the "professional" never knew your friend. His/her empathy can never be more than performative. People have a touching, but often dangerous faith in therapy. Stick with your mates, they need you.

[The Duke of Ingmar]

Amen. The problem with "professional help" is that the "professional" never knew your friend. His/her empathy can never be more than performative. People have a touching, but often dangerous faith in therapy. Stick with your mates, they need you.

I will. We will. No doubt about it.

The "professional help" is just meant to help them get rid of that picture of someone dear hanging dead from the ceiling. I guess in this case it´s better to seek help from someone who is not emotionally involved. But thank god I´ve never been in a situation like that before so it´s just guessing. I certainly feel helpless in this case.

But a huge thank you to you all for your support !

[philipchevron]

Amen. The problem with "professional help" is that the "professional" never knew your friend. His/her empathy can never be more than performative. People have a touching, but often dangerous faith in therapy. Stick with your mates, they need you.

I will. We will. No doubt about it.

The "professional help" is just meant to help them get rid of that picture of someone dear hanging dead from the ceiling. I guess in this case it´s better to seek help from someone who is not emotionally involved. But thank god I´ve never been in a situation like that before so it´s just guessing. I certainly feel helpless in this case.

But a huge thank you to you all for your support !

I watched a dear man die 10 years ago. It's something that still haunts me, a vision that is indelibly printed on my memory banks. Sometimes I wish it would go away, but more often I'm glad of it. It reminds me of his, and my mortality, the one thing none of us, shockingly, can avoid.

[Mark_Wafc]

Pakistan coach, and former England player Bob Woolmer. Found dead in his hotel room in Jamaica on Sunday morning. He was 58

On Saturday night, after Pakistan's exit from the World Cup following a loss against Ireland he had said he was considering his future in the game.

RIP

[The Duke of Ingmar]

I watched a dear man die 10 years ago. It's something that still haunts me, a vision that is indelibly printed on my memory banks. Sometimes I wish it would go away, but more often I'm glad of it. It reminds me of his, and my mortality, the one thing none of us, shockingly, can avoid.

The professional help we suggested is not meant to wipe out the memory of our mate. I believe nobody would want that, even it will be extremely painful in one time or another. And we will all contribute in keeping the memory alive, the good things, the bad things and all things in between.

[philipchevron]

I watched a dear man die 10 years ago. It's something that still haunts me, a vision that is indelibly printed on my memory banks. Sometimes I wish it would go away, but more often I'm glad of it. It reminds me of his, and my mortality, the one thing none of us, shockingly, can avoid.

The professional help we suggested is not meant to wipe out the memory of our mate. I believe nobody would want that, even it will be extremely painful in one time or another. And we will all contribute in keeping the memory alive, the good things, the bad things and all things in between.

Sure, but my understanding of your intention was that you wished to help them eliminate the vision of their friend in his final moment. Why? It happened, it is sad and wasteful in the extreme, but it cannot be therapied away. Life sometimes just is incredibly unpleasant and the end of a life, when it occurs without obvious cause, is the harshest image of all. If young soldiers were obliged to face that fact and not, instead, routinely offered Post Trauma counselling as if the problem were merely a psychological blip, we would have a great deal fewer wars and a great deal less talk of Collateral Damage too.

[The Duke of Ingmar]

Sure, but my understanding of your intention was that you wished to help them eliminate the vision of their friend in his final moment. Why? It happened, it is sad and wasteful in the extreme, but it cannot be therapied away. Life sometimes just is incredibly unpleasant and the end of a life, when it occurs without obvious cause, is the harshest image of all. If young soldiers were obliged to face that fact and not, instead, routinely offered Post Trauma counselling as if the problem were merely a psychological blip, we would have a great deal fewer wars and a great deal less talk of Collateral Damage too.

I don´t have any therapeutic experience so far, but I believe that while it may not help them lose that vision, it might help them coping better with it. To me it´d be worth the try - I can´t think of the whole thing getting worse.

Plus I don´t see that still seeing someone in your memory at this final moment, especially a "non-natural" one, is something you´d need for your life. Accepting that it happened, never forgetting all the memories, and - as you put it - even being aware of your own mortality is really important.

(I might add that when they found him and called the police, they made them go back and check if he was really dead. I dunno if the police were thinking that phone call was some kind of joke or anything. But having to go back in and check your best friend´s death is a cruel "bonus" to it all).

And I guess the main reason for us suggesting professional help is that all of us others feel utterly helpless. And that is hard when you desperately want to help someone. It´s not something you can accept for yourself too easily. I certainly can´t. Not at the moment anyway. And the fear that the whole situation will break them is still there.

[TheIrishRover]

Ik voel je, vrijnd. May your friend rest in peace.

[The Duke of Ingmar]

I guess it´s time now to close this chapter. The show must go on, and it will. Lots of thanks, again, for your support.

But I want to leave the final words to Mr Bob Dylan. Hopefully anyone who´s toying with the thought of leaving this world by his own hand can spiritualize them.

DEATH IS NOT THE END

When you're sad and when you're lonely and you haven't got a friend
Just remember that death is not the end

And all that you've held sacred, falls down and does not mend
Just remember that death is not the end

Not the end, not the end
Just remember that death is not the end

When you're standing at the crossroads that you cannot comprehend
Just remember that death is not the end

And all your dreams have vanished and you don't know what's up the bend
Just remember that death is not the end

Not the end, not the end
Just remember that death is not the end

When the storm clouds gather 'round you, and heavy rains descend
Just remember that death is not the end

And there's no one there to comfort you, with a helpin' hand to lend
Just remember that death is not the end

Not the end, not the end
Just remember that death is not the end

Oh, the tree of life is growing
Where the spirit never dies
And the bright light of salvation shines
In dark and empty skies

When the cities are on fire with the burning flesh of men
Just remember that death is not the end

And you search in vain to find just one law abiding citizen
Just remember that death is not the end

Not the end, not the end
Just remember that death is not the end

Copyright © 1988 Special Rider Music

[Andy P. Davies]

Hello Duke,

I know you want to close the chapter so I apologise in advance. I have been away from Medusa for a while and I have only just seen this news. I want to extend my sincere sympathy to you following the death of your friend in such difficult circumstances.

Best wishes,
Andy

[Esther]

RIP Calvert DeForest a.k.a. Larry "Bud" Melman of Late Night with David Letterman fame.

[The Duke of Ingmar]

Hello Duke,

I know you want to close the chapter so I apologise in advance. I have been away from Medusa for a while and I have only just seen this news. I want to extend my sincere sympathy to you following the death of your friend in such difficult circumstances.

Best wishes,
Andy

Thank you very much indeed, Andy. Support is still very welcome.

[Mike from Boston]

RIP Calvert DeForest a.k.a. Larry "Bud" Melman of Late Night with David Letterman fame.

I was a huge Letterman fan back in the 80's. Bud was quite the character.
Here is a funny clip of him at the Staten Island Ferry handing out
warm towels.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=fQ7PMG8c2gI

[Frances]

I was a huge Letterman fan back in the 80's.

Hear, hear! I don't have a tivo and might start watching The Daily Show and The Colbert Report in the morning to see more Dave again.

When I realized I'd be on the East Coast, I wrote to Mr. Letterman for a ticket...knowing it was a long shot.I hadn't heard back and figured, no go! Mr. Lettermans assistant called last Friday, and while my plans had changed...I have an open offer to return.They are so COOL!
Every time I walk past their studio marquee...I just smile.

Jay Leno is the scum of the earth, in my opinion, hiding in closets, etc.Not to mention his totally stealing bits from The Late Show.You can't fake (or steal) cool and Dave's got it.

Just recalling some of the really odd things that have happened on his various shows makes me laugh! I'm watching tonight.