firehazard wrote:
I actually can't quite believe that it seems my 90-something-year-old mum got through the whole wedding day without offending anyone. As far as we know. So far.
Ha.
One of my brothers got married a bit late in life having knocked up a date.
We grew up in a tough-ish place with zero coddling for the five of us. Zero.
So, apparently, my opiate addled mother said something to the affect of “I always thought _______ would marry _______”
to someone at the reception and was overheard by one of the bride’s “friends”. Not to either the bride or groom and not during a speech, etc. She was quite frail, we were surprised she’d been able to attend at that point in her life, and very surprised she didn’t say anything worse as she’d said far, far more offensive things to all her spawn our whole lives.
So, this bimbo goes over to my mothers with an envelope containing the $900 (or something) in cash that had been gifted to her/them and says she won’t take money from someone “who doesn’t support their marriage” blah, blah, blah.
A younger sibling was taking a turn caring for our Mother and I asked her where the fuck was she when this girl came over and made our Mother cry, waving the wedding cash around and acting like a spoiled, not living in reality, little bitch?
They were sleeping.
I said I would’ve snatched that envelope so fast and gave her the proper ass-kicking she so deserved, post haste. Not enough to get arrested, just some smacks to her temple and kick her feet out from under her (leaving no marks) and teach her a little about how you don’t fuck with a ghetto Irish-American family or their crazy Moms.
An older sibling and I pointed out that we had never in our lives gotten $900 from our Mom. Maybe $40, LOL. We worked for everything from an early age.
We still talk about how fucked up it was that our younger sibling was asleep and didn’t release the kraken on the slore for the rest of us. Typical though.Who sleeps through a visit from the devil?
My mother would say crazy shit to people at work or to us and we’d let her know she was way out of line, but that is for family to do, not some knocked-up hoochie. We would especially guide her in not telling her grandkids things like “You’re the pretty one” or “You get your brains from your father.” Ugh.
She once called a sibling fat on Mother’s Day after they brought her flowers and a cake, LOL.
I believe the term for her condition was Masshole.
The missed opportunity to teach someone that you don’t go around making big, dramatic scenes to ghetto families and get away unscathed is a great loss and our sibling is forever marked my their inability to wake the hell up and slap the bitch silly.
The girl ended up being fine, I’m sure the sibling she married let her know she was in error, not the way I would’ve, but somehow.
I’ve never been to Canada. 
