Crap Jokes

[Tal]

I was tripping on some mushrooms today when I thought, "Don't they have cleaners in Aldi?"

[Tal]

'Boy George's reptile bites 5 people in one day.'

He needs a calmer chameleon.

[Tal]

Q. Where do you go to weigh a whale?


A: A Whale Weigh Station.

[Fr. McGreer]

Mrs McGreer told me to stop singing Oasis songs.

I said maybe.

[old barney greyheron]

Mrs McGreer told me to stop singing Oasis songs.

I said maybe.

That made me smile...

[Heather]

My dad has suggested I register for a donor card.

He's a man after my own heart.

[Fr. McGreer]

My dad has suggested I register for a donor card.

He's a man after my own heart.

Oh yes they're getting worse (or better)

[Low D]

Million $ idea #67: find a dirty street performer, rebrand as "Stink Floyd", album of junkie street ballads called "dark side of the spoon"

[Heather]

My dad has suggested I register for a donor card.

He's a man after my own heart.

Oh yes they're getting worse (or better)

This one was named funniest joke at Edinburgh Fringe.

[Heather]

My friend Gav died yesterday from taking heartburn tablets.

Can't believe Gav is gone.

[Villajohn]

Did you ever hear about the skinhead who regularly shopped in Superdrug because he didn't want to bother Boots? I'll get my sowester!

[Low D]

What type of bra does a mermaid wear to math class?

An algae-bra!

[Low D]

Two gherkins walk into a jar.

What a pickle!

Such a cuke pun...

[Low D]

Upon public revelations of sexual assault & harassment against producer/director Brett Ratner, Playboy Enterprises scrubs their plans for him to produce a biopic of Hugh Hefner.

(Who knew they had such a keens sense of irony?)

[Villajohn]

Rita Bloody Ora,not only a joke but a bleedin' nightmare.