The Hogs

[dawson]

Whats with all the swearing in this thread. Its a fucking disgrace.

[Zuzana]

Swearing? Nah, in the Hogs universe, those are compliments.

[Pyro]

Dawson: It´s to give that at least touch of authenticity. If I wanted to be fully authentic, with all cunts and fucks, these articles would be two times as long.

[territa]

Again, I really enjoyed reading about your experiences. After all life is all about the experience is it not?

I agree. I live vicariously on these boards. And sometimes I even have something to contribute! I've enjoyed this thread immensely. And when I get the sound working on my computer again, I'll enjoy it even more!

[Zuzana]

Saturday, Prague, The Czech TV (...) (Zuzana was supposed to be some sort of manager - I can’t remember exactly)

That clearly shows the respect for managerial figures.

***

Saturday, Prague, The Czech TV
(the manager’s view)

Having been appointed as the "official accompaniment" (and interpreter) by the band’s manager, I managerially approched the entrance of the Czech TV building just as the unmistakable yellow van carrying the main stars arrived. That was at 7:30 p.m. The TV show – a live broadcast – was scheduled to start at 11:55 p.m.
(Just a side note – the Czech TV2 is a reputable public-service TV channel, specializing in less-commercial stuff; "Noc s Andělem" is one of the most popular Saturday night programmes.)

Upon entering the TV building, we were met by a young girl, an assigned helper. And then it was straight into the elevators and upstairs to the studio.

First impression: The studio was miniature. Huge pieces of silver material on the walls (like the aluminium in which chocolates are wrapped). Super-tiny stage in one corner, a bit bigger, polished dancing stage next to it, and a sofa with table and two chairs where the talking part of the talkshow was supposed to happen. The rest of the crammed space was occupied by cameras, lights, and other equipment. One was tripping over and bumping into things all the time.

Before the soundcheck, the Hogs were told they would play six songs, so they sat down to decide which ones. Michael chose Rosin the Bow, Poor Paddy and Streams Of Whiskey (yay – a Pogues song on Czech TV). Kieran chose Kelly the Boy from Killane, Wild Rover and The Mermaid. I asked the helpful girl for paper and pens, and they wrote down setlists. I supposed all of them were writing down serious setlists, and I did not notice anything wrong until Michael presented me with his creation. The first half of it was absolutely innocent. The second half contained "Paddy on the W***ing Machine" and a few other unquotable gems. As I was standing there with that, umm, filthy paper in my hand, suddenly the director approached me and politely told me she needed the setlist to be able to put song names on the TV screen when they play them. With a smile, she reached for the paper in my hand. The temptation to surrender it was strong, but the decent manager in me quickly pulled my hand away and gladdened the woman with another setlist from the table. I didn’t even check if that one was, umm, correct but as it turned out later, it was.

When the sound guys were satisfied with what they heard, the Hogs were invited to the main sound room to listen to a short recording of the soundcheck and decide if they were satisfied too. The journey to the sound room was an endless walk through corridors and stairways, totally deserted, dimly lit and all looking the same. A TV guy was leading the way and I was thinking that if he left us in the sound room, I would never be able to find my way back to the studio.

We returned to the studio just as the Czech-Irish dancers who had been invited as other performers arrived, and they practiced a bit, hopping around and shaking their legs and all that jazz.

Shortly after 9 p.m. it was over, and the Hogs were granted over an hour and a half of free time. I got a managerial task to enquire about drinks, which I fulfilled, but I had to disappoint my clients with telling them that the only available drinks were: 1) water (plain and with bubbles), 2) juice (orange and apple), 3) wine (red). The Hogs terribly missed beer, and Benny (the drummer) and Pyro complained that it should be manager's duty to obtain some stronger stuff. Manager firmly declined and let the clients treat themselves to wine. I’m not sure how many bottles there were (four?) but I know for sure that when the show was over and we were leaving, not a drop of wine remained.

For the following hour and a half, we were just sitting in the corridor, drinking, watching football on TV and chatting – some innocent small talk, some unquotable stuff. One talk included chopped-off balls and Kieran singing a bit of female part of FONY in a mock-female voice. I hope the technicians who were messing around and idling were not too good at English...

The interpreter came – the one who was expected to interpret for the Hogs in front of the camera (I was the off-camera one). He revealed to us that he was invited because he could speak Irish Gaelic and they wanted him to converse with the Hogs in the "teanga mhilis" on the show. The TV people perhaps didn't realise that not every Irishman (not even Irishman from the remote Connemara countryside) feels comfortable conversing in Gaelic, moreover with cameras pointed at him. So the well-laid plans went awry.

At 10:45, the time for camera check came. Camera check... it may sound super-important, but in fact the director just came to the studio and quickly informed all participants about the basic outline of the show. In some 20 minutes it was over, and we ended up in the corridor again. The dancers were dressing into their funny costumes, so the guys could admire young bare-legged girls dashing out of and into the dressing room. And drank more wine.

At 11:45, a girl with powder came and applied it to the faces of participants, and immediately afterwards they were hurried onstage. Time for... not fifteen seconds of glory, not five minutes of fame, but full 90 minutes of the live broadcast, including a talk-show (with the musicians, the dancers and the Gaelic-speaking guy) and music and dance performances. The talking was pure improvisation (nobody told anybody what they would be asked about), so it was a challenge for both the interviewees and the interpreter, but they did fine. The Hogs were asked about the band name, about how they got to perform in Czechia and a few questions about Ireland. Pyro and Benny were asked how they got together with an Irish band. (Pyro: "I met them at a gig, asked if I could play for them... and that was that.") Streams Of Whiskey was the last number of the show, and perhaps it was that song which made one of the spectators (who were encouraged to send comments and questions to the TV during the show) remark that the Hogs’ songs sounded "self-destructive" to him. Well, it was taken as a compliment.

When the guys were packing their instruments, I picked up Michael's setlist from the floor and examined whether it was as dirty as the one I was presented with earlier. Nah, it was totally innocent. I went to fetch my jacket and backpack (and the filthy setlist which was obediently waiting for me) and then we waited some more in the corridor till Benny dismantled and packed his drumkit. (The hard life of drummers...) As we were standing there, the helpful girl approached me and said she needed the setlist, muttering something about copyrights and such. She was bolder than the director – she actually started pulling the paper from my hand. The, uhm, incorrect paper. I stopped her at the last second, managing my most polite smile and thrusting Michael's innocent setlist (which I was – luckily! – still holding too) into her eager hand instead. My second big chance to shock the TV people and spoil the Hogs' reputation... and I didn't use it.

And that's the end – even the longest five minutes of fame have to end eventually. And 2:00 a.m. seems to be a high time for taking a break. The Irishmen announced they needed some real drinks, so we dropped them in the centre of Prague and let them search for non-stop drinking holes. And the rest of us were dropped, by one, at our places after enjoying a ride through the dark, eerie fog-shrouded city.

[The Hog]

Zuzana!
That song sheet......................what can I say????? it did'nt think the producers would be trying to get their hands on the song sheet/set list that I wrote down for myself!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! why could'nt they want Kieran's or Noel's song sheets/lists?????????????? tis amazing alright, anyway you must have had very mixed feelings about handing over the "clean" song list, I might have done different if roles were reversed )))))))) what a laugh, just never a dull moment so there is'nt.

Noel....I recieved the Tex's Rider's insignia just a few minutes ago on my e-mail so I will immediately get started on such things as the new mainpage on thehogs.eu website and also on the hogging flag, possibly even use it on the next album sleeve cover.
The Xmas reunion at the RDS looms!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Talk later,

Michael http://www.thehogs.eu and http://www.thehogs.org

[MacRua]

Mac Rua,

This belated thanks for the photos you inserted and the youtube downloads plus the nice comments made back on pages 3 & 4, just was going through it all now as I seldom get this amount of free time on the net, I see I passed no remarks back then and I just dont know why as I'm fairly good for a reply to anything sent my way and I absolutely hate being rude unless it's entirely intentional. ("Thick Rude" in not good) Glad you liked the Czech album, thanks for the positive feedback.

Michael "The Hog"

http://www.thehogs.eu and http://www.thehogs.org

Michael, I had to go back and look through previous posts to get what youtube downloads and photos you'd meant
Thank Pablo first of all, not me We were hogging together last weekend. I should have passed him your thanks...
Anyway, it's my pleasure! Looking forward for english version of your album and new gigs. Hope to intersect next year. Maybe in Czechia?
CHLAST!!

[Noel Kenny]

Hope to intersect next year. Maybe in Czechia? Wink

How about Serbia?

Hog, Make sure to credit Tex's riders If you use the logo.

[Noel Kenny]

Hog. Maybe you should do a Johnny Cash toype tour of serboian jaoils and smuggoil Oirish Rover home to OIreland.

[The Hog]

Mac Rua,

Yes by all mean pass on my thanks to Pablo!!!!!!!!! again sorry for the delay in mentioning this, I musta been drunk the month that was posted.

Yea, twould be fine to meet up in Czechia next year for more hogging, I know we're gonna be there for the english version launch of the c.d and quite possibly this'll be in the end of april, I should know more when january comes in, I know there will be the august tour but apart from that I'll have to wait and see what our manager has cooking for us.
We're off to play in the Canary Island's on the 1 of january (Gran Canaria) so more hogging!!!!!!!!!! JESUS.................it just never stops!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Take it handy,

The Hog

[The Hog]

Howya Noel,
Of course I'll do the appropriate credits with the insignia, bein a member myself I woud'nt let the side down!
Still and all I wanted to run it by you for opinions and enndorsement so now that all is done on that front then I'll proceed with the rest and hopefully do us all proud.

A "Johnny Cash" type tour in Serbia?????????????? Smuggling out Oiroish Roivoir into Ireland?????????????????
I'm all for it!!!! Why not? Should be great cráic, I must ask our managoir in Czech Repbloic to get us intoi Jaioiol oveoir there, need to goi Hogging foirst moind you!
Goin into Galway tomorrow,
Scruffy phoned me a few days ago, he was in the half barrel with Ding Dong hogging away on lunch break, said he booked our hotel rooms in Dublin next door to the RDS so will be awful convenient for staggering outa the RDS and straight inti the hotel, unless theres some party inner city with King Cunt.

The Hog

[IrishRover]

thanks Noel, Michael, that would be a dream coime true! oi loive for the day when em chaoins woill foinally break.. noiw, proision loife ois paoin woithoin, no hoiggoing here for one OIrishRover...

[MacRua]

Hope to intersect next year. Maybe in Czechia? Wink

How about Serbia?

A trip to Wonder Land? It's a MUST! Thanks for invitation, Noel!
I am for it. As soon as Gojko finishes polishing his new jail. To save on a hotel, you know

[Pyro]

Sunday, Vlašim

I woke up at home, I felt really tired. The solution was very simple - I slept some more. I think we returned on the road some time in the afternoon. It reminded me of the first step into our yellow car, a few days before - the situation was vastly different though!

Vlašim...Ugly could be its middle name. I really like cities like London or Prague, they’ve got mighty spirit and feel like vast plains of sea, with many depths and lovely places. I rather like villages, they’ve got nature around, are small, and generally fine. What I really don’t like are these artificial small cities, composed of ugly greyish prefab buildings, with ugly windows, ugly doors...et cetera. And it was cold; grrrr. After disembarkment, we went to a restaurant and the whole situation immediately got better. I had “Mayor’s piece of meat, and it was sooooo good. High quality meat, with beautifully thick cheese sauce, and nice pommes frites. And great beer called Litovel.

The place where we were supposed to play wasn’t too nice I think, it smelled of the old functionalist era. There was no serious bar to speak of, but there was some beer, at least. I have to say, I was pleasantly surprised by the soundcheck - that was the first gig where I could clearly hear what I was actually playing. Maybe because of that I felt at ease, and everything was fine.

After the gig, I briefly talked with some lovely girl playing the whistle too, who saw the show, and then we went to a pub... which proved to be troublesome indeed. The place which seemed to be the only option was an ugly den, as far as I remember, no chairs, no tables, only a bar. We decided to leave. Out there, a girl directed us to some other pub...which was closed. Again. And sadly, it was still dark, cold night (not that it would be unexpected).

On the way somewhere (I forgot where), we walked around the pub where we had the lunch... dammit, they had just closed. Some kind people took us with them, to some bowling bar. It was across the town (argh). After we got there, we found out that the damn place was fucking closed! The lady who took us there tried her diplomatical skills on its owner, but she failed. It remained closed. We went out again. I have to note I was slightly irritated at the moment - it seemed that every pub there was closed, except that horrible non-stop bar; it was cold, and those people with us talked and talked and talked. At last, we came to plaza with another non-stop bar, which was much more pleasant than that one before. The waitress was cute, and Jameson too. We sat, talked, but it felt weird, I didn’t like some rude chap who was messing around, I didn’t like loads of cigarette smoke produced by our guides...I have to say I was glad I got back to bed.
I can’t say I didn’t enjoy Vlašim. I sure did! But it had several weird spots, to be honest.

[IrishRover]

Michael, whats the croiwd loike oin Spanoish OIslands? Who coimes to loisten the goigs? Doifferent people every noight oi guess, are there OIrish? Touroists maoinly or loicals?