Alex wrote:Boat Train
(1987 Demo, previously unreleased) (d)
[S. MacGowan]
I met with Napper Tandy
And I shook him by the hand
He said "Hold me up for Chrissake
For I can hardly stand.
I had a fearful journey
I'll never do again
It's the last time that I travel on
The Boat Train"
I had a couple of drinks in town
A few more at the port
I puked up on the gangway
But some kind folks helped me board
Then they produced some whiskey
and they poured it down my throat
They sat me at a table
And I lost my watch and coat
First we drank some whiskey boys
Then we drank some gin
Then we drank tequila
I think that's what done me in.
Then we had some brandy
And the women had a dance
The croupier announced
That we could play the game of "chance"
We crowded round the table
With our money in our hands
I ended up on the other side
Without a penny in my pants
I woke up in the toilet
When we got to Holyhead
The doors were all a-banging
And I wished that I was dead
So after that I was pulled up
By a couple of grinning thugs
First they looked for bombs and guns
and Then they looked for drugs
They stuck a flashlight up my arse
and told some Irish jokes
Said "Fuck off now, paddy"
So I headed for a smoke.
On the boat train.
We got on board the train
And then we had a drink or two
We started playing poker
But the booze ran out at Crewe
Some people went to sleep
and others searched for duty free
Some bastard started singing
"The little cottage by the Lee"
He then sang "Paper Roses"
"Boolavogue" "Eileen Aru"
Somebody started slagging off
The Pakis and the Jews
Started looking through the bags
for cigarettes and booze
found a bottle of whiskey
And I read the Daily News
First I drank the whiskey
Then I found some gin
Then I fell against the door
And broke me fuckin shin
Next thing that I knew
I was in London in the rain
Staggering up the platform
Off the Boat Train
krrsshshshssh
Edit: Additions by firehazard and Kilmichael added
Not sure how best to do this but I made some small amendments above and tried to show the changes in bold typeface. Apologies if I've breached any quote conventions.
There are a few differences from the Peace & Love version but it's still one of my favourite songs on that album (maybe because I grew up in Dun Laoghaire where the boat leaves for Holyhead). One line I'm still not convinced about is the start of "So after that I was pulled up".
"There's always one, isn't there?" 
