old barney greyheron wrote:................LAMENT..........
I went for a drink and they'd closed down the bar
I want to go dogging but I haven't got a car
and the landlord's onto me, giving me grief
and I can't find a dentist and i'm running out of teeth.

Brilliant.

DzM wrote:

Noonan McKane wrote:Let me try.
A word immediately following a semi-colon should start with a capital letter.

Oh yeah! See what you mean......

You've made a fine effort, but sadly a misguided one.

A semi-colon has no rule regarding punctuating the first word following it. A colon does, but only for specific situations:<blockquote><blockquote type=cite>Capitalize the first word after a colon if it is a proper noun or the start of a whole sentence.</blockquote></blockquote>

Information about both abound, but I found these two sources to be helpful:

http://essaypapers.reviews/
http://essayinfo.com/sguides/semi-colon.php

Thank you for sharing!

The chip shop on a friday night
once good for you but now it's shite
your obesity is no surprise
take some fucking exercise.


She stood outside the takeaway
an arse on her like a horse
shivering in her too-tight dress
eating chips and curry sauce.

................LAMENT..........
I went for a drink and they'd closed down the bar
I want to go dogging but I haven't got a car
and the landlord's onto me, giving me grief
and I can't find a dentist and i'm running out of teeth.

old barney greyheron wrote:Christmas is coming
shut up about it please
my missus did the shopping
and the fridge is full of cheese

Christmas is coming
of that i'm well aware
don't bang on about it
cos I honestly don't care

Christmas is coming
yeah mistletoe and wine
you can stick your festive cheer
where the sun don't fuckin shine

Christmas is coming
with songs that make me bawk
one honourable exception
fairytale of new york.

Great to see you back on form Barney.

Happy christmas me arse

old barney greyheron wrote:Christmas is coming
shut up about it please
my missus did the shopping
and the fridge is full of cheese

Christmas is coming
of that i'm well aware
don't bang on about it
cos I honestly don't care

Christmas is coming
yeah mistletoe and wine
you can stick your festive cheer
where the sun don't fuckin shine

Christmas is coming
with songs that make me bawk
one honourable exception
fairytale of new york.

Shit, why didn't you write this earlier in the season so i could make Xmas cards with it?! Oh well, next year i guess. Thanks in advance!

Christmas is coming
shut up about it please
my missus did the shopping
and the fridge is full of cheese

Christmas is coming
of that i'm well aware
don't bang on about it
cos I honestly don't care

Christmas is coming
yeah mistletoe and wine
you can stick your festive cheer
where the sun don't fuckin shine

Christmas is coming
with songs that make me bawk
one honourable exception
fairytale of new york.

.........CHINATOWN......(being a wee observation of life on the Fenside council estate)

Cut-price booze and smuggled fags
windows hung with St George flags
shopping in a dressing gown
fucking awful Chinatown

Getting stoned and getting high
fucked-up lives and pisshole eyes
weed and speed and crack and brown
all the rage in Chinatown

Round here there aren't any jobs
round here there aren't any pubs
no wonder every fucker's down
it's desperate in Chinatown

Dogs queue up in shops for pies
pensioners just wait to die
faces in a permafrown
depressed to death in Chinatown

In the front yard on an old settee
known down here as Fenside shui
seen better dress sense on a clown
the joke's on you in Chinatown.

sorry for primting error............verrry drumkk

With apologies to who wrote 'Roddy McCorley'...
See that host of clubfoot men
they all walk like this
they're all carpark attendants
and they're old and they stink of piss
from bungalow and wardens flat
they limp to work each day and those
and those NCP jobsworths all shout
you can't park here today.

BAD DRUNKEN POETRY.
So i took my old backpack,carried what i could upon my back
waved a white flag and fucked off out of there, oh shit i didn't take my hat
said i gotta go now and save my skin, my pride it is long gone
and i do apologise and i do sympathise
but i did my best and babe i never harmed you
but there's limits i can take, you take the biscuit, take the cake
if i'd stayed then by christ i would've maimed you
i'm not what you thought i was babe, but i really really tried
and i guess i'm too old and tired to fight
so i left and went back home, now i'm too fucked up to roam
and i'll try not to dream of you every night
bottle of scotch and bag of weed
sleeping pills to tend my need
and i'll try to live some kind of a life
nights when pacing the floor
and i can't stand it anymore
and i wish you had stuck me with a knife.

Well thanks Sporting...my haiku debut...

old barney greyheron wrote:HAIKU SHMAIKU.
the insane projectionist
is in my head
he will not let me sleep.

This one is a keeper. It lingers nicely on the lobe.

With apologies to John Lydon...
I am an insomniac, i've got a dodgy back
I thought I had a heart attack
when I climb the stairs my knees crack
And I wanna be an employee
not just another doley

Mass depression for the UK
go in the 'bin' for a holiday
get medicated and then you'll be
all on the same wavelength as me
And I wanna be
up a mountain and never come down again

I don't watch daytime tv
I like to keep my mind busy
I buy the mail on sunday
good for crosswords but not for anarchy
And I wanna be in society
England's got no use for me.

HAIKU SHMAIKU.
the insane projectionist
is in my head
he will not let me sleep.