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Crap Jokes

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Expand view Topic review: Crap Jokes

  • Quote Joel Summers

Re: Crap Jokes

Post by Joel Summers Mon May 23, 2022 12:39 am

Why Are Washing Machines Funny? ''I dunno why are washing machines funny?''........they take the piss out of your underwear........
Why Are Washing Machines Funny? ''I dunno why are washing machines funny?''........they take the piss out of your underwear........
  • Quote soulfinger

Re: Crap Jokes

Post by soulfinger Sat Mar 28, 2020 6:07 pm

A bloke on our street was taken into hospital with coronavirus. He was put on one of the new Dyson ventilators and it is reported that he's picking up nicely.
A bloke on our street was taken into hospital with coronavirus. He was put on one of the new Dyson ventilators and it is reported that he's picking up nicely.
  • Quote Frances

Re: Crap Jokes

Post by Frances Tue Mar 24, 2020 10:42 pm

Bono Vox:
http://www.lamebook.com/bomb-o/?fbclid= ... gSRLwUFeXI
Bono Vox:
http://www.lamebook.com/bomb-o/?fbclid=IwAR35b4VdELDMqD3HpF6i5y584Z5M5_oFGXorVY1Wit_vVawNggSRLwUFeXI
  • Quote Fr. McGreer

Re: Crap Jokes

Post by Fr. McGreer Fri Mar 20, 2020 9:42 pm

soulfinger wrote:A teacher decides to use the Coronavirus theme in an English lesson and asks for pupils to give her a sentence using the word contagious.

Little Johnny offers - "my dad's got a decorator in to paint our kitchen and he says it's take the cunt ages".


:lol: :lol: :lol:

Just because i can't spell armaghgeddon........ It's not the end of the world :roll:
[quote="soulfinger"]A teacher decides to use the Coronavirus theme in an English lesson and asks for pupils to give her a sentence using the word contagious.

Little Johnny offers - "my dad's got a decorator in to paint our kitchen and he says it's take the cunt ages".[/quote]

:lol: :lol: :lol:

Just because i can't spell armaghgeddon........ It's not the end of the world :roll:
  • Quote soulfinger

Re: Crap Jokes

Post by soulfinger Wed Mar 18, 2020 12:40 pm

A teacher decides to use the Coronavirus theme in an English lesson and asks for pupils to give her a sentence using the word contagious.

Little Johnny offers - "my dad's got a decorator in to paint our kitchen and he says it's take the cunt ages".
A teacher decides to use the Coronavirus theme in an English lesson and asks for pupils to give her a sentence using the word contagious.

Little Johnny offers - "my dad's got a decorator in to paint our kitchen and he says it's take the cunt ages".
  • Quote Low D

Re: Crap Jokes

Post by Low D Fri Mar 13, 2020 9:29 pm

Canada's PM is quarantined and his spouse has COVID-19, Tom Hanks has it too. Latest news is that John Travolta is sick but they think it's just Saturday Night Fever!

I'll get my coat...
Canada's PM is quarantined and his spouse has COVID-19, Tom Hanks has it too. Latest news is that John Travolta is sick but they think it's just Saturday Night Fever!

[i]I'll get my coat...[/i]
  • Quote Frances

Re: Crap Jokes

Post by Frances Mon Nov 19, 2018 1:09 am

Trump sandwich: bologna on white bread with Russian dressing, little pickle.and a splash of lemonade.

Disgusting.
Trump sandwich: bologna on white bread with Russian dressing, little pickle.and a splash of lemonade.

Disgusting.
  • Quote Wayne Kerr

Re: Crap Jokes

Post by Wayne Kerr Sat Nov 17, 2018 10:30 am

Teresa May, no punchline required!
Teresa May, no punchline required!
  • Quote Low D

Re: Crap Jokes

Post by Low D Sat Nov 17, 2018 4:42 am

Image
[img]https://pics.me.me/cat-whats-your-opinion-on-britain-leaving-the-eu-think-6163160.png[/img]
  • Quote Low-ish D

Re: Crap Jokes

Post by Low-ish D Fri Jul 27, 2018 3:51 am

Q: What do you call a beautiful woman on the arm of a banjo player?

A: A tattoo.

(As told by dobro player Jerry Douglas)
Q: What do you call a beautiful woman on the arm of a banjo player?

A: A tattoo.

[i](As told by dobro player Jerry Douglas)[/i]
  • Quote Wayne Kerr

Re: Crap Jokes

Post by Wayne Kerr Tue Apr 24, 2018 9:12 am

What's the difference between a snake and a DJ by the side of the road?The snake is in its way to a gig.
What's the difference between a snake and a DJ by the side of the road?The snake is in its way to a gig.
  • Quote Ciderman

Re: Crap Jokes

Post by Ciderman Mon Dec 25, 2017 3:46 am

Fr. McGreer wrote:
Ciderman wrote:Why do scuba divers fall out the boat backwards?


Come on, put us out of our misery..........


If they fell forward they'd fall back into the fucin boat ;-)

http://pogueslive.blogspot.co.uk/
[quote="Fr. McGreer"][quote="Ciderman"]Why do scuba divers fall out the boat backwards?[/quote]

Come on, put us out of our misery..........[/quote]

If they fell forward they'd fall back into the fucin boat ;-)

http://pogueslive.blogspot.co.uk/
  • Quote Fr. McGreer

Re: Crap Jokes

Post by Fr. McGreer Sun Dec 24, 2017 1:59 pm

Ciderman wrote:Why do scuba divers fall out the boat backwards?


Come on, put us out of our misery..........
[quote="Ciderman"]Why do scuba divers fall out the boat backwards?[/quote]

Come on, put us out of our misery..........
  • Quote Villajohn

Re: Crap Jokes

Post by Villajohn Sun Dec 24, 2017 6:44 am

I know,but it's the way i tell 'em! [thank you Frank Carson}
I know,but it's the way i tell 'em! [thank you Frank Carson}
  • Quote Low D

Re: Crap Jokes

Post by Low D Sun Dec 24, 2017 2:39 am

Villajohn wrote:Did you hear about the scarecrow who won a Nobel Prize? He was outstanding in his field


That joke is corny.
[quote="Villajohn"]Did you hear about the scarecrow who won a Nobel Prize? He was outstanding in his field[/quote]

That joke is corny.

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